Editing your Personal Piece

Some of you may be finished your Personal Piece, others may be finishing it as we speak. I thought that this would be the perfect time to publish some of the ideas I talked to you about rewriting and the personal editing process during last class.

We have discussed how you all have very different ways of writing but not very many of you edit your work.

Here is one way of writing that is comprised of 4 different stages (3 of which are editing stages). The first stage is when you write your piece. Stage 1 is very simple: words on paper. During this stage you are in the "creative"/brainstorming/inspiration mindset. This is where you should just try to write as quickly as possible. Some of you may have planned everything out beforehand, others prefer to write spontaneously. Regardless of your preference, the idea here is to try not to censor your ideas or edit what you are writing.

That comes in the next stage. Yup. Welcome to Stage 2: reading what you have written. During this stage you are reading what you have written critically (but not actually editing yet). So, when you come across something that needs to be changed or does not make sense you mark it and then keep reading. That is the important part. Do not start engaging in the editing process yet. Finish reading your entire piece. Write all over it (I like to print out whatever I have written for Stage 2 and then mark it up with purple pen) but finish reading it, then you are finished with Stage 2.

Which means you are then in Stage 3 which is the brutal phase. This is the full-on editing phase when you have to cut and paste and get rid of the things you love most of all but are not important to the story and everyone else who reads your piece is bored by. Sigh. Stage 3 needs to be engaged in for short periods. This is the time when you may want to "map" your story out. This is also the time when you:

• should be saving your drafts as new documents
• all those beautiful bits you are cutting out, paste them into another document because 2 days later you may find another scene to stick them in so you will want a place where you can reach them easily. Failing that, you will want a sort of graveyard document where you can go and visit them
• spellcheck and grammar check your document (I do not want any unchecked documents handed in)

That is enough about Stage 3. I think you understand what I mean about this phase. Strangely enough, I am always loathe to start it but I love it once I am there.

Stage 4 is the final polishing stage when you make everything look pretty. Make sure that it is formatted properly. Make sure that there are no continuity problems (for example the same character is always the one who says "Yee haw" while the other one has the big sword).

So, those are the 4 stages. I look forward to hearing about your experience of the editing process over the next couple of weeks.

Partner Feedback

Lat week you all received detailed feedback from me on your Personal Piece Idea Forms and general writing style (loosely based upon the informal submissions you have handed in so far).

Next class, I will ask you to write your own form/list of questions to direct your Partner's feedback. Think back to the feedback sessions you have gone through in class, my feedback, your own writing process, how you feel about the Personal Piece you have written. What do you want your partner to read for?

Remember that when people read your work, unless you ask them very specific questions, you will probably get well-meant feedback that is not very useful ("Yah, I liked it" or simply a couple of grammar corrections which are good but is there something else you would have liked?) .

First, think about what you can realistically expect from feedback. Then, prioritze what is most important for you. Your partner's time is limited so it is only really acceptable to them to do 3-5 major things when they are reading your work.

For example your questions might look like this:

1. How would you have written the Greenguts' death scene on page 5 differently? (Then write some specific questions, no "yes" or "no" answers)
2. Did you notice any words or phrases I use repeatedly?
3. Were there any parts or paragraphs that you found confusing? Particular sentences that made no sense?
4. Which were your favorite three sentences (different sections)? Favorite scene?
5. I have been having a hard time writing the transition into the dream sequence. When you read it did it flow smoothly and was it obviously shifting in time and reality? Can you please pay attention to that bit on pages 9-10 and give me any suggestions?

I will ask all Partner's to write what they think your greatest strength was and one concrete suggestion for improvement so please do not include these as questions.

Final dates of the course

Just a reminder of the final dates of the course:

Your Personal Piece is due: May 31 (in class and via email)

Your Partner Feedback is due (via email sent to them and me): June 7 (no class)

You Portfolio is due: June 14 (this must include: 1 flash fiction, the 3 haikus, 1 memoir piece, your edited Personal Piece)

Participation Forms due (via email): June 20 (no class)

Last Class: June 28 (Schein signed please bring your forms)

New Posts: Rewriting Keroauc

Jack Keraouc, famous Beat writer from the 60s wrote haikus of a sort.

Like this:

Early morning yellow flowers,
thinking about
the drunkards of Mexico.

And this:

Nightfall,
boy smashing dandelions
with a stick.

And this:

Drunk as a hoot owl,
writing letters
by thunderstorm.

And, of course, this one:

Holding up my
purring cat to the moon
I sighed.

In class, we rewrote this poem so that it fit the traditional haiku 5-7-5 form. Here is the version I wrote alongside you in class (in the 2 or so minutes I gave you):

by Nadine Wills

Grandiose holding
purring cat up to the moon
stumbling I sighed.

Dear (brilliant) students, please send me your rewrites so that I can post them here as well.

24.04.2007
Benjamin Heidtmann
so courageous and brilliant
sent his rewrites first.

He wrote a number of rewrites, don't worry if you only have the cat purring one we did in class. The "more the merrier" as those of us like to say who are happy to use tired cliches :-) Thank you.

Rewriting Kerouac by Benjamin Heidtmann

Early morn sweet bloom
thoughts of Mexican drunkards
haunt these yellow fields


Stick in hand, smashing
dandelions. Without care,
the boy moves onwards


Thunderstorm outside,
intoxication rises
as I pour these words


Cat exposed, purring
held up to the wretched moon
my sigh goes unheard


By Raphael Awasty

Holding up my own
purring pussycat to the moon
I sighed grief-stricken

By Shilan Anderson

Moonlit purring cat
my arms outstreched i hold you
and sigh and sigh. Why?

By Rieke Jordan

As the purring cat
encountered the white moonlight
I tumbled and sighed.

By Helen Krueger

Holding up straight my
lonely old cat to the moon
I sigh in despair.

Isn't it interesting how many variations there are on these 3 simple lines that I gave you only a couple of minutes to rewrite? Notice that each subtle difference in word choice changes the tone and meaning of the poem quite dramatically.

Here are some more rewrites:

By Susi Hauner

Midnight sacrifice -
Held up, my cat purrs at the
moon's cold face. I sigh.

By Marsha Grant

Holding cat up to
the shining facade, the moon
I sighed too loudly